•.• My New Toy •.•

I bought a new toy recently! It's a gift I bought for myself to reward myself for all the hard work I have done in Hong Kong all this while ~ FujiFilm F300 ~

Love its quality, the salesperson did a few comparison between it and Canon Power Shot S95, it can capture even further and it adjusts the darkness better! Wow, amazing... but I still haven't read through the manual yet, need time to practice.

Happy happy~~ yeah yeah~~~

   

•.• 这里的生活 •.•

一个人的生活，必定懒散。没有妈咪煮的美食，营养必定没在家那么好……

八月回来香港以来，公司为我换了个居住的地方，比起之前住了两个月多的小房间好太多了！

五月到七月居住的小房间，是一间屋里，间隔出六间房，的其中一间：那个只有大约170sqfeet，比起Westin的房还更小！应该说比起吉隆坡任何一个地方的房间都还要小上一倍的超小房间！

Before ~ First room stayed for 2 weeks:

 

Before ~ Second room stayed for about 2 months:

After ~ 现在的安乐窝

 

小小的厨房，只能容纳一个人……

   

从客厅望出去的街……

是不是觉得现在我住的地方好很多leh？

可是，我还是比较想回自己的家，等你回来，一起组织我们的安乐窝……
^.^

•.• 冷冷的夜 •.•

今天的夜晚感觉格外的冷……格外的冷清……格外的寂静……

到了这个钟点，还未卸妆，还未梳洗……

蒸了的蕃薯，只吃了一条，就没胃口吃了……


自己最爱的巧克力蛋糕，也提不起劲去吃……


妈咪千吩咐万吩咐一定要吃的水果，我从冰箱里拿了出来，原本想吃，现在也没心情吃了……


喝了温热的绿茶，还是很冷……


……………………

• 我很想家 • 很想你 •


不开心……

•.• A Relaxing Normal Day •.•

It's been a long time I did not have one day with my mind totally shut down from work, and today is the first after 2 months time.

I remember talking to you in the sleep, and saw the call record on my mobile phone, so I knew it's real. 
=)

Slept till 1130am, finally made up my mind to wake up and crawl out from the not-so-comfy bed (cos I still prefer my very own bed at my home sweet home...). Dug my head so deeply until I finally decided what I was craving for, then washed, changed, touched up and then headed out to the Japanese Restaurant to have my brunch ~ 荞麦凉面. 


And then sat at Starbucks with a Mr Magazine and a cup of Frappucino. There was soothing music at the background... Hmm.... When was the last time I got to relax my mind in such way...?
=)

Saw this model of camera, should I consider this as well? I wonder how much is it. I am aiming Canon iXus 130X now... =P

Wow, so many logos of Hermes, I think they are from different generations or decades?

Paul Smith's Mini Cooper.. so colourful... so cheerful... Is my life full of different colours as well?
=)

Went for a short & simple eye massage with Sing Yee, eventually got a free trial of make up too... hehe...

Halloween is just around the corner, take a photo with the pumpkin!!
;)


Well, rushed home hoping to see you, but ended up being alone throughout the whole midnight, writing the blog... 


Yawn.... finally felt tired, but I am so hungry now... hmm... supper time!!
=P

•.• 嫁给我 •.•

10.10.10 原本只是个普通的日子，现在变得有意义多了！而且是不以为意，没发觉到刚好就在这一天！

第一次听到有人对我说：‘嫁给我！’时，还真的会心跳加速！

虽然我们心里已经有数，但是，将它变成文字，从口里说出来之后的感觉，真的很不一样，感觉踏实多了...

我期待你真正向我求婚的那一天~~
=)

~开心~

 

•.• 要如何冲破困境 •.•

最近真的很懒去利用头脑，很多事情其实只要我有先用脑去思考过的话， 我相信我一定能想出办法去解决我现今所面对的每一个困境... 


我该如何才能持续着有耐心地利用自己的脑，去想想冲破困境的方法？


我该从哪里得到力量，让我勇敢的去面对迎面而来的每一个难关？

我该从哪里得到那份智慧，让我更懂得如何处理每一件事情？


我相信所有的答案都隐藏在我脑里的某个角落，我是有潜在的能力去发掘那份智慧的！！我只是需要更多的思考，更多的坚持！


我应该学着处事泰然，凡事先静下心来思考之后才行动...

谢谢你不停耐心的指点我的问题所在，不放弃的呆在我身边陪我走过我事业上最艰苦的这段日子... 
=)

•.• I wanna be a cheerful caRroT •.•

Why should I be unhappy about something which is not related to me?

You are emotional, you are worrying about your things, why should I feel unhappy as well?

Moreover, you don't know me at all, you don't understand me at all, why should I be not happy because of your sudden change? Has it affected me? Does it really matter?


Same thing, I don't think I know you at all too! What happened to you? I don't know. What is worrying you now? I don't know. What kind of people you are? I am not sure. Things seem to change just overnightly. You are a stranger to me out of a sudden...


Please do not mess up my life!!!!
T__T

 

•.• 没人疼惜的可怜鬼 •.•

不懂什么时候变得杀伤力这么强，超negative的...感觉上之前的努力全都前工尽废了...

明明是很伤心在掉泪，却不晓得自己干嘛这么情绪化，是因为没人疼、没人爱、没人追吗？

怎么搞的？之前不是下定决心了，要专心工作、创事业，缘分等它自己找上门来吗？ 那现在呢？要怎样？

对不起，我心情不好时，杀伤力很强的，只要觉得你说的话我不想听，我就会不理你，要不然，我会说些很难听、很负面的话让你头疼，你一定会更加恨我的...所以，你还是别理我好了...

我会哭，我哭了很久，有这么可怜吗？为什么要把自己搞得那么可怜、那么可笑？有人会可怜我吗？大概不会有吧？只会弄到别人更反感而已...

白痴！

•.• A 'peace' of mind •.•

Life in Hong Kong is fine so far... Slowly adapting to the life of being alone here... 

•.• Walking alone on the street, start knowing my directions better, knowing where my destinations are, and start walking like a normal people...

•.• Eating alone during lunches and dinners, start realising that there are a lot of people who are also eating alone.. Don't they have colleagues? Or friends? Or family members? Cos most of them are Hong Kong people, not foreigners like me!! 
Well, I start knowing how their restaurants operate in terms of food ordering > payment > taking the food > looking for a nice spot and settled down. I bring along newspaper or a book whenever I go out alone for meals, so at least I am occupied while waiting for food... Instead of staring aimlessly around me...
=)

•.• Going for appointments alone, be cleverer to ask for directions or browsing through the map before attending an appointment. Sometimes some selfish people will give me super long way direction, which made me walk very very far and sweat like I was in a shower... Well, I am getting to know many places better, at least remembering their names, so when people mention the name, I will recognise that that is a name for a place!

•.• Staying alone have to be more alert about the safety inside and outside the room. Have to take care of water boiling and keeping the room as clean as possible before the cleaner came the following week. Have to be self disciplined, remember to wake up every morning without fail to get to work, although my work place is right beside my bed... Have to buy my own fruits so that I can still absorb the minerals and vitamins that are important for my health.

•.• Shopping alone is becoming normal for me now... I think will have chance to be friends with those sales girls tim!


•.• Chatting in Skype without fail every night with you and my parents.... This has become part of my life here... If one day I do not have internet access in my room, I will be very very scared, just like what had happened the other night, I was like being disconnected from the whole world out there... So scary...
   
Feel like I m getting further from all my deary friends now... Are you guys fine there? Do you still remember carrot here...? I think now I only have a handful of friends who are still in touch with me from time to time... where are the others? 


I might not have time to catch up with every single of friends when I am back to KL in Aug and Nov. All will be rushing in and out of KL... sigh....
 

•.• Funny Stories in Hong Kong •.•

Now that I am more settled down in Hong Kong in terms of accommodation and work, let me share some of the funny stories happened for the past 2 weeks I am here...

The 4th day I am here, I fell down in a double deckle bus! It was raining that time, so I ran and flew up into the bus and to my surprise, I flew further towards the bus driver! Ouch!! Here I fell down:

And then we had the funniest 星洲米 here too! It is mee hoon cooked with curry powder! Omg.. so disgusting... well, it's special though... hahaha...
=P

Hmm... I love the food over here during the first few days, eg. 炸两、艇仔粥、双皮炖奶、餐蛋治... But then now, I start missing Malaysian variety of food.... and of cos my mummy's cooking!! 

I miss my frens, my cousin babies...oh gosh...

•.• Day 2 in Hong Kong •.•

I am at Hong Kong now!! 
Welcome to Hong Kong!! hahaha...

We were on our way to Causeway Bay from the Hong Kong Airport~

Well, the first night was a bit disappointing as the room which we booked was not as what it was showing in their website... it's totally misleading... in an OLD building, in the room the stuff was so old n dirty... so yuckie!! 

We made up our mind to quickly look for another serviced apartment and we wanna move out!! And we were so lucky to be able to find our Home Sweet Home on the 2nd day!!

=P

This is the first Ding Ding tram I saw!! hahahaha....

=P

And this is the first time I sit upper level of the Ding Ding tram! hehe...

My dinner away from home, taste so much like homecooked meal, with 老火汤! Yum yum... but still mummy's cooking is the best! hehe....

sleepy now.. nite nite everyone~

=)

•.• New Chapter in Life •.•

Using my favourite colour, writing this to end the old chapter, and to welcome the brand new chapter in my life...

I have successfully gotten a new job within a month as I promised myself. This is the first job which I went for interview. It is somehow fated. It was initially not the first one, but because the MD of another company did not make it to the pre-fixed appointment, we did not meet up until now.

I did not come across the advertisement of this job actually. But they found me in Jobstreet instead. The boss is a very fun and energetic person. I can see that everyone working under her is happy and enjoying themselves. She is not arrogant nor bossy, I din even know that she is the boss! =.=

Well, I will be seconded to Hong Kong immediately after one week of on-job training. Which means I will be leaving by end of May 2010. 6 months time away from home, how will it be? I've never in my life leave my parents for such long!

I will definitely miss my mum and dad loads!!
I will miss Mimi a lot!
I will miss my bed with my own smell a lot a lot!
I will miss all my dear friends a lot! My closest ever primary school gang!
I will miss my best sister very very much! (but she is happy that she got a chance to go Hong Kong since I am there. =.= She's always such optimistic, which is a good thing too! haha...)
I will miss every single one of you who loves me so much here...

Someone promised me that will come back purposely to see me, cos I said I wanna see you.

I hope you will come back on purpose to see me too... but you said we can still see each other in Skype... **disappointed**

Well, I have bought my luggage bag, started to get ready all facial stuffs and body care which I need to bring over... There are so lot to prepare!! How I wish I can bring over my whole house! Hahaha..

Ya, I am so excited to see what will happen in the near future. I gotta promise myself no matter how, I will be determined and persistent in this job! Cos I can see the happy caRroT in this job! 
=)


Miss you all~~~

•.• Surprises •.•

Life is full of surprises... I love surprises, I think those are spices of life and that makes our life more colourful...

Recently, me and one of my sis quarreled, we were like primary sch kids, we snapped each other, irritate each other then we said we wanna stop being friends.. We had a really hard time, although it was just a few hours time.. But it hurts..

The next day, I went to her office, gave her a surprising birthday present with a handmade card.. we said no words and hugged then followed with tears.. Ariel was correct, if we really dun care about each other, why would we feel not happy?

After that surprise, I caught myself in a 'surprise' too, I nearly had a car accident on my way home.. I really thought that there goes my car, my vacation plans.. The car was just a few millimeter away from my door (driver's side), she had an emergency brake and I turned back to the left.. I screamed until my heart was nearly falling off through my throat!

I haven't seen the whole world yet, I haven't experienced a lot in life, haven't been in a serious relationship, haven't been in a marriage, haven't had my own family and own kids, haven't been successful in my career, haven't ease my parents' life... I still have a lot to do! 

Take one step at a time... when will it lead to my destiny of happiness?

surprises...  miracle...

•.• Back to caRroT soon •.•

I came to think whether my life is really filled with Love now? How come I feel a sense of sorrow somewhere in my heart?

Went to do something on my hair today... I believe that will in a way enlighten my day... [when you look prettier, you'll feel that your days are better and brighter! =)  ]

Being negative is so tiring... That's why I kinda forced myself to be very positive; lift up my mood daily; whenever I feel like getting angry, put a smile on my face, jokingly ease the situation...

I am trying to pull myself out from the dreamy place... need to see it clearer from the side, so that I can judge better, so that there won't be any misunderstanding...

I used to think that I know you so well; I used to think that you care about me so much; I used to think that perhaps you would be the one; I used to take things for granted. Now, it's time to re-look at the whole situation... I would not wanna say that I am totally wrong, shouldn't be so negative, should not cut my heart slices by slices just like this. All I need to do now is to observe from the side... be more objective.. without bias...

Will be back to caRroT very soon...

 

•.• 会开心起来的 •.•

时间不等人，我也不想再等了。所以，很多时候我会很快的作决定，不晓得是对还是不对？
有人说我太冲动了……也许吧？搞得现在有点不上不下的，该怎么办？顺其自然吧……不说都说了……
你还会join我们吗？不会的话，希望你能早点告诉我们，到底在拖什么？


冷淡……我没多余的精神去理会或烦恼这些了，没有了工作，才真正的感觉到工作对于自己是多么的重要！这次绝对不会再草率地接受自己不想要的工作了……要找一份自己在工作以后还会有时间做自己喜欢做的事的！！

乐观……最近学会了看开及乐观，很多事情发生了，可以有很多不同的面，而我们不一定要只专注于不好的那一面，可以看看那好的一面啊！人生会好过许多！

嘴巴是别人的，你不能捂住它不让它说你的坏话；
眼睛是别人的，它要怎么看你，你总不可能把它给挖出来不再让它看你；
脑袋是别人的，它爱怎么想，你控制不了！


别为这些我们根本无法控制的事情而烦恼吧！多浪费精神及时间！


开心！我发觉自己的人生其实充满了爱……

•.• 谁才真的了解我？•.•

我不懂自己是否又再次走错了一步？

好朋友的定义在哪里？什么才叫做好朋友？为什么让你更清醒看见自己弱点的就非好朋友？为什么所谓让你不开心一阵子的就并非好朋友？

我只是很想知道你到底在想什么而已，这样有错吗？是谁说现在是新时代，男女平等？是真的平等了吗？只是当机立断了一点点，只是主动地问了个很平凡的问题，这样就算做错了吗？

我是在不断的撕下自己的心吗？为什么要这样不断的伤害自己？这样会有好过一点吗？不但不能得到任何人的同情，就连自己也会看不起自己！

我只是想过简单快乐单纯的生活，这个要求有很过份吗？为什么总是那么复杂？

•.• Overcoming •.•

Guess I am overcoming the most torturing situation? 

I have made a move to talk to someone from the team, after some debating, she actually shared her personal view and experience with me... 

This job requires a lot of passion and patience! Once you lost the interest and keen towards this job, you will definitely feel that this job pays too less and it's just not worth you wasting so much time!!

To me, one thing I lacked the most was the connection with the team. Everyone seems to mind their own business, or rather, I am the only one alone... like I am doing work all by myself, seems like nobody will back me up even when I am not around... that was how stressful I was! You don't even feel comfortable to take leave! Or even MC!! Sad.... I cried almost every now and then... It's so difficult to drag myself to work every morning, so sad for myself every night when I drive home, feel so heartbroken whenever I saw my mum and dad waiting tiredly for me to come home...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Situation has improved a lot now... At least we joke with each other in the team, at least my 'sifu' is more willing to guide me, at least whenever I talk to the team, they will let me know if it is not a good time to talk, we will talk another time... At least, there is a connection.... *relieved*


I am a bit confused now.. Is this what I love to do actually? Otherwise, how come it has been so difficult for me to find a new job? I had to cracked my head and thought about what I really wanna do... yet, I was not able to think of one... What is my career goal other than hotel line? I am confused.....


But now, I am still here... in the hell hotel line.... Will I be long there? No one will be able to know....

•.• How do I de-stress myself ? •.•

Feb 2010 is truly a super stressful transit period for me!
T_T

Moving to another team is not as easy as I thought it would be! Not that I underestimate the situation, but I think I overestimate my capability...

I thought I am brave and confident. In fact, I am quite surprised that I am that timid! I feel like giving up every moment now... I am panic, I am scared! I dun feel like going to work everyday! I do not have any idea of what surprises will I get from the day.. I am worried until I am not sure how to take every single step! 
T_T

I cried... I felt suffocated, I couldn't hold anymore and my tears just burst... 
I cried all the way home, I even cried when I was on the phone with someone... I dunno how.. I am so stressed up!

For 2 whole weeks, I have never been home any earlier than 11pm!! Why do I wanna live this kinda life? Does all the hard work worth? Will I eventually give in my own health? 

*********************************************************************

We went for a relaxing drinking session at Delicious @ Duo Regency, it is really a nice hang out place! We had lots of fun there... I wanna go there again one day... when I am so stressed up... it's a place where I can relax my mind & soul....

 
Wine is acceptable in my De-stress list, but NO hard liquor, loud music & dance please.... It just won't work! And it makes me more sick!! I had dry throat, aching back, sleepy & dry eyes, and tired body the next day... And.. mentally I feel more stress!! Leave me alone next time please.....
T_T


I hope the stress will become a dessert for me as soon as possible... 
I am trying my very hard to be positive & confident...
I need support.... Where are all my close friends? I need you all now...
T_T

•.•做回我自己•.•

Do I need to force myself to do something which I dun really like to do, just because I hope to be included in a group of people?

Well, I used to really make myself do something which I feel uneasy to do cos I dun wish people to think that I am lame or outdated... That was a stressful period, cos I have to think of excuses to explain to mum and dad, have to adapt myself into that activity, have to force myself to act happy and enjoying it etc. So much of stress and unhappiness! Wat is this for?


Now, I start to understand and accept who myself really am:

•.• Accept it if you dun really enjoy clubbing with a whole gang of friends who you dun feel secured with, then Don't join them!
•.• Accept it when you dun really wanna go shopping with that bunch of friends, then Don't join them!
•.• Accept it when you really feel like staying relaxingly at home, just wanna read some books or write some diary, then Don't force yourself to go out!
•.• Accept it even if you realised that you are a boring person! Can just sit there with a friend, doing nothing much, not much of topics to chat about, just like to be there with someone quietly, then Don't question yourself 'is there anything wrong with me?'
•.• Accept it when you really wish to do something really lame, eg. cleaning your grandpa's dirty house with your cousin, you Do Not need to get anyone's consent to do it! Cos you are the one who is willing to do, and you do it sincerely!

That's me, and I start to enjoy being myself, being the way how I should always be!

That's when you are able to really enjoy your life, doing things that you love to do, do not care so much of how people would judge you (those people might not be always right anyway!).. As long as what you do, do not only benefit yourself, and do not harm anyone else.

Start loving yourself, before you love anyone else. Cos you will learn how to love other people when you learnt how to love yourself!
=) 

•.•

不晓得主体应该放什么，纳闷？不明白？有感而发？了解我就请相信我？

不知怎么搞的？我的直觉偶尔告诉我是真的，偶尔却让我感到很不安……

不该去为一些自己无法控制的事而烦恼，这种叫自找烦恼，干嘛要这么折磨自己呢？

快乐是自己给自己的，不是别人给的！

别人给的所谓幸福，不如自己制造的幸福来的实在！

打从心底里，又自信地展现自己的幸福、快乐，这种才是发自内心的幸福，才得以感染身边你所爱的人……

•.•caRroT's bRand nEw yeAr•.•

A year begins with a successful promotional plan is indeed a very good thing to celebrate!
Ha! I got it! I got it! 


There was a long long consideration before a decision was made:


A promotion to an 'internal' Executive was initially confirmed by the first week of Jan 2010. And I was pleased enough to have been granted this! Although this is still far away from what I wished to get. But, what comes around, goes around... I will just take this and perform well, with a hope to be able to outshine myself in the shortest period possible.


Sometimes u will have to believe that miRacLe does exist!


My first miRacLe of year 2010 was that my big boss offered me a higher position than 'internal' Exec before she left the property! I was so touched that she did something for me before she leave! And this position is much nearer to where I wished to be... But, it will be in a different team, doing different thing from my current team. It will be a big challenge to me.. However, I always believe that if I am able to jump out from my comfort zone, I will definitely go far!!


Thanks to those who had been talking to me during the transit period, when I was so clueless whether to accept the new challenge anot. 


Thanks to those who told me that they have confidence in me, that really gave me a great great courage!


Feb 2010 will be a new page in my work life... looking forward to it...
>,^

•.• 哭 •.•

今天我哭了一整天！

原本心情就不大好了，好复杂，好心烦……

于是开了港剧来看，《家好月圆》，我终于开始看了…结果一看，就哭个不停，每一集都在哭，太感人了！

有点羡慕于素秋与阿好自小就感情就特别的好，当秋要前往英国念书时，两人难分难舍，好感人…当于素秋这么多年后，在回港后才拆开多年前阿好写给她的信时的那一幕，令人心酸…

每每荷妈在说道理时，都令我掉泪，看见她的遭遇，真难忍眼里的泪……

我只不过看了六集，哈哈，有排看！现在眼睛好累，因为哭了一整天，哈哈！

知道你没事，那就好……安心了……

希望明天会有好消息啦！

•.• Anything? •.•

•.• Anything happened? I hope you are alright... And hope to hear from you soon too... 

•.•  It's just too hard to swing my hands from the inner part of the water and then up straight to the sky and then back to the water again... I was trying so hard to make it... wihtout giving up.. and finally i made it! That kinda joy is so fulfilling... You were there watching me with another student in front of you, but you did not come over and start any conversation.. Therefore, I started it just before I left. =) Hope to let you see my improvement in the next lesson!

•.• Diamond ring finally existed on one of my jimui's finger! So happy for her! She'll be the first who got engaged with her life partner! And we were all so excited to plan all sorts of parties for her, even though it will be in year 2011! Hahaha.... Yes? Anything? I know I am not the one who get married, I am just simply very happy cos this is really something to be happy about! Ain't it? =)

•.• I am still waiting for the answer from my BIG boss and my other smaller bosses.. Not sure will it be a success story for me? Keeping my fingers crossed!!

•.•魔镜不见了！•.•

Supposed to be extra refreshed when one is back from her super long holiday... But, when she found that her favourite deViL miRroR has GONE MISSING, there goes her day!! 
=..(

Sad of course, angry undeniable, but what else can I do?

Tried finding under the desk, on the desk, everybody's desk, the whole office floor, boxes etc, no way I could find it...

Was thinking of cursing the fella who has stolen it. But, think about it, can I get anything by cursing that person? (yup, maybe some bad karma.. not worth it!) So, instead of being so pissed off with it, I have decided to face it this way:

Since you like my deViL miRroR so much, you can have it. I treat it as doing charity. BUT, I hope that this will be the LAST thing that you would ever steal! In future, perhaps you could just come to me and tell me that you like my thing so much, maybe I will consider of buying one for you, or tell you where you could get it, or even give it straight to you!
=)

Goodbye ler my mirror...
Changing mindset is good! At least I feel much better that way...

Xiao Lei.... It's gone...  sad sad.... 

•.•心底里的牌•.•

This afternoon, went out for tea with the old gang at Papparich, played a card game there. It's called 心灵沟通卡. It reveals what's really hiding deep down in your heart! It's kinda mystical, and accurate...

Without pre-expecting the kinda cards which you will be choosing, you will be surprised, the cards tell you exactly what you wouldn't be brave enough to say out, the fact that you knew yet you wouldn't wanna admit or accept...

After this session, it kinda hints me a lil bit here and there, showing me direction in life, be it my career, love or family. 

Everything happens for a reason, do not blame the past, do not blame anyone • Confess what you have done wrong in the past, do not repeat it • Be brave to face the challenge which you least willing to encounter, you will leave the unsecured situation behind once you overcome it • Face the real you, admit and accept who you are, like and love yourself more • Save the time of suspecting each and everyone around you, it is restless to do so • Let go of unhappiness in the past, you will see a peaceful dReamlanD in the deepest part of caRroT's heart...

(ya.. that's what the cards reveal about caRroT..)

It's been more than a year, I nvr brought it out again as it is disgusting to discuss about; it is painful to remember again; I had nightmares every now and then; it makes me dislike the caRroT in the past! 

But now, caRrot has learnt how to be 'myself', with a lot of remarkable things happened in year 2009, it's time to say goodbye to the ugly past! Say 'welcome' to the joyful dReamLanD of carRoT!!

What is the card in your heart??