•.•做回我自己•.•

Do I need to force myself to do something which I dun really like to do, just because I hope to be included in a group of people?

Well, I used to really make myself do something which I feel uneasy to do cos I dun wish people to think that I am lame or outdated... That was a stressful period, cos I have to think of excuses to explain to mum and dad, have to adapt myself into that activity, have to force myself to act happy and enjoying it etc. So much of stress and unhappiness! Wat is this for?


Now, I start to understand and accept who myself really am:

•.• Accept it if you dun really enjoy clubbing with a whole gang of friends who you dun feel secured with, then Don't join them!
•.• Accept it when you dun really wanna go shopping with that bunch of friends, then Don't join them!
•.• Accept it when you really feel like staying relaxingly at home, just wanna read some books or write some diary, then Don't force yourself to go out!
•.• Accept it even if you realised that you are a boring person! Can just sit there with a friend, doing nothing much, not much of topics to chat about, just like to be there with someone quietly, then Don't question yourself 'is there anything wrong with me?'
•.• Accept it when you really wish to do something really lame, eg. cleaning your grandpa's dirty house with your cousin, you Do Not need to get anyone's consent to do it! Cos you are the one who is willing to do, and you do it sincerely!

That's me, and I start to enjoy being myself, being the way how I should always be!

That's when you are able to really enjoy your life, doing things that you love to do, do not care so much of how people would judge you (those people might not be always right anyway!).. As long as what you do, do not only benefit yourself, and do not harm anyone else.

Start loving yourself, before you love anyone else. Cos you will learn how to love other people when you learnt how to love yourself!
=) 

•.•

不晓得主体应该放什么，纳闷？不明白？有感而发？了解我就请相信我？

不知怎么搞的？我的直觉偶尔告诉我是真的，偶尔却让我感到很不安……

不该去为一些自己无法控制的事而烦恼，这种叫自找烦恼，干嘛要这么折磨自己呢？

快乐是自己给自己的，不是别人给的！

别人给的所谓幸福，不如自己制造的幸福来的实在！

打从心底里，又自信地展现自己的幸福、快乐，这种才是发自内心的幸福，才得以感染身边你所爱的人……

•.•caRroT's bRand nEw yeAr•.•

A year begins with a successful promotional plan is indeed a very good thing to celebrate!
Ha! I got it! I got it! 


There was a long long consideration before a decision was made:


A promotion to an 'internal' Executive was initially confirmed by the first week of Jan 2010. And I was pleased enough to have been granted this! Although this is still far away from what I wished to get. But, what comes around, goes around... I will just take this and perform well, with a hope to be able to outshine myself in the shortest period possible.


Sometimes u will have to believe that miRacLe does exist!


My first miRacLe of year 2010 was that my big boss offered me a higher position than 'internal' Exec before she left the property! I was so touched that she did something for me before she leave! And this position is much nearer to where I wished to be... But, it will be in a different team, doing different thing from my current team. It will be a big challenge to me.. However, I always believe that if I am able to jump out from my comfort zone, I will definitely go far!!


Thanks to those who had been talking to me during the transit period, when I was so clueless whether to accept the new challenge anot. 


Thanks to those who told me that they have confidence in me, that really gave me a great great courage!


Feb 2010 will be a new page in my work life... looking forward to it...
>,^

•.• 哭 •.•

今天我哭了一整天！

原本心情就不大好了，好复杂，好心烦……

于是开了港剧来看，《家好月圆》，我终于开始看了…结果一看，就哭个不停，每一集都在哭，太感人了！

有点羡慕于素秋与阿好自小就感情就特别的好，当秋要前往英国念书时，两人难分难舍，好感人…当于素秋这么多年后，在回港后才拆开多年前阿好写给她的信时的那一幕，令人心酸…

每每荷妈在说道理时，都令我掉泪，看见她的遭遇，真难忍眼里的泪……

我只不过看了六集，哈哈，有排看！现在眼睛好累，因为哭了一整天，哈哈！

知道你没事，那就好……安心了……

希望明天会有好消息啦！

•.• Anything? •.•

•.• Anything happened? I hope you are alright... And hope to hear from you soon too... 

•.•  It's just too hard to swing my hands from the inner part of the water and then up straight to the sky and then back to the water again... I was trying so hard to make it... wihtout giving up.. and finally i made it! That kinda joy is so fulfilling... You were there watching me with another student in front of you, but you did not come over and start any conversation.. Therefore, I started it just before I left. =) Hope to let you see my improvement in the next lesson!

•.• Diamond ring finally existed on one of my jimui's finger! So happy for her! She'll be the first who got engaged with her life partner! And we were all so excited to plan all sorts of parties for her, even though it will be in year 2011! Hahaha.... Yes? Anything? I know I am not the one who get married, I am just simply very happy cos this is really something to be happy about! Ain't it? =)

•.• I am still waiting for the answer from my BIG boss and my other smaller bosses.. Not sure will it be a success story for me? Keeping my fingers crossed!!

•.•魔镜不见了！•.•

Supposed to be extra refreshed when one is back from her super long holiday... But, when she found that her favourite deViL miRroR has GONE MISSING, there goes her day!! 
=..(

Sad of course, angry undeniable, but what else can I do?

Tried finding under the desk, on the desk, everybody's desk, the whole office floor, boxes etc, no way I could find it...

Was thinking of cursing the fella who has stolen it. But, think about it, can I get anything by cursing that person? (yup, maybe some bad karma.. not worth it!) So, instead of being so pissed off with it, I have decided to face it this way:

Since you like my deViL miRroR so much, you can have it. I treat it as doing charity. BUT, I hope that this will be the LAST thing that you would ever steal! In future, perhaps you could just come to me and tell me that you like my thing so much, maybe I will consider of buying one for you, or tell you where you could get it, or even give it straight to you!
=)

Goodbye ler my mirror...
Changing mindset is good! At least I feel much better that way...

Xiao Lei.... It's gone...  sad sad.... 

•.•心底里的牌•.•

This afternoon, went out for tea with the old gang at Papparich, played a card game there. It's called 心灵沟通卡. It reveals what's really hiding deep down in your heart! It's kinda mystical, and accurate...

Without pre-expecting the kinda cards which you will be choosing, you will be surprised, the cards tell you exactly what you wouldn't be brave enough to say out, the fact that you knew yet you wouldn't wanna admit or accept...

After this session, it kinda hints me a lil bit here and there, showing me direction in life, be it my career, love or family. 

Everything happens for a reason, do not blame the past, do not blame anyone • Confess what you have done wrong in the past, do not repeat it • Be brave to face the challenge which you least willing to encounter, you will leave the unsecured situation behind once you overcome it • Face the real you, admit and accept who you are, like and love yourself more • Save the time of suspecting each and everyone around you, it is restless to do so • Let go of unhappiness in the past, you will see a peaceful dReamlanD in the deepest part of caRroT's heart...

(ya.. that's what the cards reveal about caRroT..)

It's been more than a year, I nvr brought it out again as it is disgusting to discuss about; it is painful to remember again; I had nightmares every now and then; it makes me dislike the caRroT in the past! 

But now, caRrot has learnt how to be 'myself', with a lot of remarkable things happened in year 2009, it's time to say goodbye to the ugly past! Say 'welcome' to the joyful dReamLanD of carRoT!!

What is the card in your heart??